Every message we receive at the subconscious level is perceived as the absolute truth.
This is the time of year when children are either starting or returning to school; they may experience some excitement and often trepidation based on the unknown of who their teacher(s) and classmates are. There may be uncertainties trickling down from the year before or general self-doubt about whether they are smart enough, confident, or even good enough (athletically or otherwise). And often, girls question whether they are skinny or even pretty enough…and the list goes on.
Many years ago, when my kids were very young (One is now in his early 40s, and the other is turning 40 later this month.) I used to talk to them individually when they were asleep; the oldest was three, and the youngest was six months old. I would always begin by whispering to them, “Mommy loves you, sleep well.” If they’d open their eyes, I’d whisper telling them to close their eyes, as I’m only letting them know I loved them. I’d continue by telling them:
“I am proud of you.”
“You are confident.”
“You are smart.”
“You have a great memory.”
“You are a good communicator.”
I’d finish by telling them I loved them again and to sleep well. My oldest would often smile and return the salutation, whereas my youngest never responded. Since I wasn’t sure if my youngest was hearing me, one night after giving him the usual messages, I proceeded to tell him (although he was deep asleep), “Whenever you and Mommy watch TV together, and you get yourself a blanket, you get Mommy one. And whenever you get yourself some water, you bring Mommy some.”
Well, the next day, and for a full week, he brought me a blanket and water…He heard me at a subconscious level.
The phrases I used were based on my own self-doubts growing up. I wish I had believed all those encouraging messages as a child. It took a lot of work through hypnosis and personal self-growth to believe in myself to get to where I am today. (If I had a daughter, I would have always included that she was pretty.)
Our auditory sense is always hearing, even at the subconscious level; hence, talk to a child while they’re asleep. Your words matter!
Three tips to remember about our words:
- Let your children (even your students) overhear you saying nice things
- Remember that your words become their internal voice. Be gentle, kind, and encouraging.
- Talk nicely about others. When we point out the good in people, it becomes easier for children to also see the positive aspects in others.
Let your words and actions inspire others to dream, learn, and do more; therefore, become more.
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless.” ~ Mother Teresa
To Your Success,
Peak Performance Coach